LOL! YOU JUST CAN'T MAKE THIS UP!

Charlie Chaplin once said, "A day without laughter is a day wasted." Well, if good ole Charliewas living and read about some the recent events of the sports world, every day would be a LOL one. As he was doubling over in laughter, he'd  probably bark out, "You just can't makethis stuff up. LMAO!"He's right. On Wednesday, a top prospect of an NHL team, made headlines by recordinga .30 on a Breathalyzer test. That was pretty amazing...

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THE BOBBY PETRINO DILEMMA

If Martin Luther King, Jr. read the contents of Bobby Petrino's character, he'droll over in his grave and run away from him faster than Usain Bolt. Petrinois a known liar, cheater, and sell-out. Petrino destroyed what was left of hisreputation last spring when he turned the University of Arkansas upside downwith his lying and philandering ways with a woman more almost half his age.But Petrino can coach. And in the high-stakes game of college...

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RED WING IS A TELETUBBY

Thanks to Twitter, Facebook, blogs, cellphone cameras, merciless fans, andeverything else that comes with the age of instant information, it's impossible foran athlete to get away with anything, even if they're just a prospect working hiscraft for a team you've never heard of.If an athletes sneezes, burps, or farts, there will be some yahoo who posts in on some form of social media for the entire world to see. That's just the...

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IN MY NEXT LIFE....

In my next life, I want to be long-snapper in the NFL for one game.In my next life, I want my name to be Manti Te'o.In my next life, I want to see the NHL actually play some games.In my next life, I would ban every athlete from Twitter to help save themselves.In my next life, I'd promote a steel-cage death match between Paula Broadwelland Jill Kelley.In my next life, I'd make Bobby Petrino go to Catholic, Charm, and Get-a-Clueschool.In my next life,...

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TRUE LOVE FOR CHUCK PAGANO

It's easy to become cynical from a sports world that is littered with self-absorbed,and self-promoting athletes, who in some cases, suffer major wounds to their careersand reputations because of self-inflicted stupidity.We see athletes kneel in post-game prayer, giving thanks to the Lord, only to bearrested later that night for spousal abuse.Tiger Woods gathers his loving family around the living room for pictures, but assoon as the photographer...

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POWERBALL FORTUNE: THINGS I'LL DO AFTER I WIN IT.

The Powerball has reached a record jackpot of $425 million. After I win iton Wednesday, these are some of the things I'm going to do with my new fortune.BUY GARY BETTMAN AND THE NHL A CLUE. "Seinfeld" was called theshow about nothing. The NHL has become the league that doesn't play. In the midstof a third work stoppage since 1995,  the league has already cancelled more than 350games, the Winter Classic, and the All-Star Game. Brilliant. I'm...

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RICK REILLY IS THE NEW KIM KARDASHIAN

Like Paula Broadwell, Rick Reilly has gone, "All In". He not only took his muchadmired writing talent to ESPN, but also a burning desire to be the most talkedabout clown in the multi-media circus.It doesn't matter how wrong he is, (Notre Dame is irrelevant in college football) orhow ridiculous he looks, (Hey, Stuart Scott, tell everybody I broke the story first onTwitter), Reilly wants the spotlight to be on him.Even though Reilly does...

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PENN STATE'S GREATEST SEASON

The lights have been turned out as the early vestiges of winter blow throughBeaver Stadium. Uniforms, equipment, and playbooks have been turned inand will go into storage until the calendar turns over to April and it's time forspring practice.There isn't a conference championship game to play in or a bowl game thatPenn State can prepare for, the NCAA made sure of that when they took asledgehammer and tagged the football...

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TOP 10 TURKEYS OF THE YEAR

10. CHAD OCHOCINCO.  He got released by the New England Patriots and then quickly proved Thomas Wolfe correct: You can't go home again. Ochocinco returned to his nativeMiami and signed with the Dolphins. What a disaster. His wife of about 3 minutes found areceipt for condoms in his car which led to a heated argument with Ochocinco head-buttinghis wife. He got arrested, released from the team during an episode of "Hard Knocks", losthis reality...

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