DOS EQUIS GUY
He lives vicariously through himself
STEAK SHAPIRO
He lives off his father who bought him a radio station.
DOS EQUIS GUY
His reputation is expanding faster than the universe.
STEAK SHAPIRO
His reputation is shrinking quicker than George Costanza.
DOS EQUIS
He has so many talents, there is a sign on his back that reads, "Standing Room Only."
STEAK SHAPIRO
He has so little talent, there is a sign on his forehead that reads, "Vacant."
DOS EQUIS GUY
His blood smells like cologne.
STEAK SHAPIRO
His blood smells like a cess pool.
DOS EQUIS GUY
He cures people who are dying
STEAK SHAPIRO
He mocks people who are dying.
DOS EQUIS GUY
He is the life of parties he doesn't even attend.
STEAK SHAPIRO
He sucks the life out of every party he attends.
DOS EQUIS GUY
If at first he does not succeed, then it is impossible.
STEAK SHAPIRO
He succeeded at first because his father made it impossible for him to screw up.
DOS EQUIS GUY
His donation card also lists his beard
STEAK SHAPIRO
His donation doesn't say anything about a brain.
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