Dos Equis Guy He lives vicariously through himself
Dos Equis Guy He once started a fire using dental floss and water
Manti Te'o He started a firestorm using a dead girlfriend who didn't exist
Dos Equis Guy His reputation is expanding faster than the universe.
Manti Te'o His reputation is shrinking faster than George Costanza
Dos Equis Guy He is the life of the parties he never even attended
Manti Te'o His life will never be the same and nobody will ever come to his parties.
Dos Equis Guy On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.
Manti' Te'o On every continent in the world, there is a fool named after him.
Dos Equis Guy His mother has a tattoo that says, "son".
Manti Te'o His mother has a tattoo that says, "he's not mine."
Dos Equis Guy He has crossed the point of no return--on several occasions.
Manti Te'o He has crossed the point of no return--and is now royally screwed.
Dos Equis Guy The police often question him just because they find him interesting.
Manti Te'o The police will soon question him because they find him to be a suspect.
Dos Equis Guy He has inside jokes with complete strangers.
Manti Te'o Complete strangers are making him the butt of all inside jokes.
Dos Equis Guy He's made love to Manti Teo's girlfriend.
Manti Te'o. He's never even kissed his girlfriend that doesn't exist.
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