a billion dollars annually and is the only sports network of the 287 of them on the air, that
people watch or even care about. Oh, you love the NHL network? That's good. Count
yourself as one of the ten people who watch it or even know where to find it in the galaxy
of 1000 channels.
But there is trouble is Bristol. Disney is forcing the World Wide Leader to cut up to 400 workers
and pronto. Don't expect to see any of the 2.7 million sports anchors and analysts that you see everyday, walk the plank. The cuts will come from the production unit and probably the crew
from the award-winning ESPN Deportes channel. If ESPN were to cut on-air "talent", here are
the Top 5 personalities and analysts who should get the pink slip.
5. TIM HASSELBACK (NFL analyst). Let's face it, the only reason this guy has a spot on
the ESPN team is because his wife is Elizabeth Hasselback, who has been carrying him on her
back since starring on "Survivor" which she turned into a coveted role on "The View" despite
having no television experience. Tim was a very good player at Boston College, but he was
nothing more than a clipboard holder in the NFL. Oh, right, I respect his opinion when he
points out what Tom Brady and Peyton Manning are doing wrong. That's like me trying to
criticize Mark Zuckerberg just because I know how to use Facebook.
4. JAMELLE HILL (First Take/Sideline reporter/Guest panelist) She is the lighter and female
version of Stephen A. Smith. Like Smith, she gained attention either ripping athletes or playing
the race card. Brings nothing to the table. Nothing.
3. CHRIS BROUSSARD. (NBA analyst) This would be a good time to give this blowhard the
boot. Several weeks ago, he was asked how NBA players were reacting to the coming out party
of Jason Collins. Broussard turned it into his personal platform and tried horribly to bring his
personal beliefs, the Bible, and how homosexuality is a grave sin, into the picture. Let's see, Rob Parker got canned for calling RGIII a "cornball brother" and Broussard is unscathed despite
telling everybody the Bible thinks homosexuality is a sin. He's just another pinhead writer who
got addicted to the limelight and attention that ESPN brought him. Broussard also tweets more
than any human alive.
2. SKIP BAYLESS (World-Wide Blowhard #2). Bayless criticizes every athlete, dead or alive.
He'd probably find something bad to say about Jim Thorpe, too. It'd be one thing if Bayless was
a former professional athlete, but he's just a wannabe. Loved the fact that Jalen Rose called him
out and chided Bayless for averaging 1.4 points a season as a junior varsity basketball player.
I'm sure Bayless requires security when he heads for the parking lot. Many athletes would kill
for the chance to kill him in a back alley somewhere.
1. STEPHEN A. SMITH. (World-Wide Blowhard #1) I'm not exactly going out on a limb
here. Pretty much every sports fans in the country hates this guy. He is everything wrong about
sports television today. You don't have to be right, have credibility or talent. Just yell, scream,
and create a controversy like Screamin' A and you can work for ESPN, too. ESPN fired him
once already. They should write and produce the sequel but never let him set foot on the Bristol
campus again.
With all that money saved, perhaps ESPN can finally find a spot for AJ Clemente. It's always
been his dream to go from Bismarck to Bristol.
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