The Dos Equis Guy is clearly the most interesting man in the world while Bobby
Valentine is, well, just interesting. Here's the tale of the tape between the Dos Equis
Guy and Bobby V.
There are many who feel the Dos Equis Guy invented the world. Bobby V tells
everyone in the world it was he, who invented the sandwich wrap.
The Dos Equis guy is the life of parties he has never attended. Bobby V gave life to
one helluva party that was attended by New York Mets players after management fired
him.
Every camera loves the Dos Equis Guy. Bobby V makes loves to every camera he sees.
The mother of the Dos Equis Guy has a tattoo that says, "Son." Bobby Valentine's mother
has a tattoo that reads, "He's not mine."
The donation card of the Dos Equis Guy also lists his beard. The donation card of Bobby
V says something about a giant ego.
The Dos Equis Guy often has to wear a disquise to find some peace from his female
admirers. Soon enough, Bobby V will have to locate his famous disguise to keep from
being stoned by Larry Lucchino, his lone remaining admirer.
The Dos Equis Guy has been known to cure narcolepsy just by walking into a room. When
Bobby V walks into a room people no longer have to worry about overcrowding.
The small talk of the Dos Equis Guy has altered foreign policy. When Bobby V talks, it
usually turns off Red Sox Nation.
The reputation of the Dos Equis Guy is expanding faster than the universe. The reputation of
Bobby V has wasted away quicker than Antoine Walker's bank account.
Enemies of the Dos Equis Guy still list him as their emergency contact. The number of
enemies that Bobby V has once caused a state of emergency.
The Dos Equis Guy once made a mistake just to see how it feels. Bobby V could never
sink to that level.
The Dos Equis Guy lives vicariously through himself. I guess he and Bobby V have at least
that in common.
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